speaking the truth

[it is I, a white trans guy. I'm looking into the camera, smiling; one of my front teeth has a rounded chip in it. A black, white, and grey checked newsboy hat is covering most of my hair, though there's a thin grey-brown braid peeking around from behind. I've got a decent start on a goatee, plus the very beginnings of a neck and jawline beard. I'm sitting in my van, and wearing blue wire frame glasses and a green polo shirt.]

The Horrible Trans Guy Neckbeard is very gender affirming, & also I kinda hate it on principle. The Horrible Trans Guy Goatee-Like-Object is coming along nicely, though it badly needs a trim. The Horrible Trans Guy Soul Patch (all 15ish hairs of it) isn't even really visible in this pic, but it's getting there.

Also my hairline has receded JUST far enough that my already-high hairline is officially higher than I like, so I'm gonna be going in for a haircut in a week or so. I don't know entirely what I want, but B Dylan Hollis is definitely an inspiration. Gonna have short hair for the first time since *consults watch* *consults calendar* *consults Timeline of the 20th Century website* 1992.

I'm going to a queer hairdresser, of course, because, my friends, I need HELP. I've paid no attention to modern fashion since ... well, approximately 1992. & I don't NECESSARILY care now, either, but also, hair do thing, what thing.

anyway I'll post pics once that happens

still gotta tell Stories but also, you know, Life

probably I might want to start trimming my horrible trans guy goatee with something more precise than the paper scissors I keep on my desk, but sometimes you just gotta have at with whatever sharpish implement is to hand

the plausibly deniable mustache I've had for years has become yes that's definitely a mustache. I keep catching glimpses of the right side out of the corner of my eye & trying to brush away the bit of fluff. that's not fluff, that's my face!

someday I will be able to do the curly mustache thing.

I'd get a picture but my undercut has grown to 'pointy-haired boss' levels of 'time to hit that with the clippers' & I'm not inflicting that on anyone if I can help it. hope I can get that trimmed tomorrow.

what with one thing & another I haven't posted anything that isn't EXTREMELY public here in a time period, cos it's all been crossposts from the business website

which means there's some personal stuff many of y'all don't know, on account of what if my mom reads my business blog YES I AM A GROWN-ASS ADULT also I'd like to stay in the will thank

so HI my name is Kellan & it turns out I'm a guy

*pauses for shocked reactions*

*waits*

*waits*

... yeah okay fair

I've been on T since June & LET ME TELL YOU I AM SO ANGRY, I knew people running on testosterone built muscle more easily BUT I DID NOT KNOW HOW EASILY like. I work out once & suddenly biceps. I spend a week chopping wood & am suddenly stronk enough to go buy the heavier axe. WHAT THE SHIT, Y'ALL WERE HOLDING OUT ON ME HERE.

also I have gone from 'plausibly deniable upper lip hair' to 'yep that's a fuckin mustache' & have the saddest trans guy soul patch ever

second puberty has been mostly fine except for the [REDACTED] HOLY CATS I WAS NOT READY

I do want my dwarf beard NOW though

gonna try to keep posting stuff like this here because. it's been SO LONG since I wrote about what's actually going on in my life & apparently now is the time to start doing that

I'll probably be changing my username in a couple weeks, I'm thinking kellan-tabby but we'll see