kellan_the_tabby | State of the Kate

I really, really apologize for that subject, but I apparently can't help it.

Mostly things have been better than in my last post (what, a month ago)? Although it's been sort of a rough road. The antibiotics from the sebaceous cyst messed with my Depo and I basically had PMS for about a week and a half straight. Since PMS makes me feel a 'my cat just died' level of 'things are BAD and WRONG' this was...pretty shitty.

But I finally leveled back out, and I never actually got my period, which is GOOD, because I realized a year or two ago that...

...okay, backing up here to say that I've been vaguely wondering if I am transgendered since I was twenty or so, and eventually decided that I probably wasn't because: no body dysphoria. There are things about my body that _annoy_ me (boobs, the possession of, being a LOT of it), but none of it rose to the level of dysphoria.

Of course the whole time I was doing this thinking I'd already been on Depo for a couple years and hadn't had a period in quite some time, so it wasn't until a year or two ago that I realized that yes, holy shit there WAS dysphoria, and it was all about having my period. I thought that hating the whole process and wanting to rip out the entire system once a month was pretty normal, but apparently it's not!

So thank $deity of choice for Depo, because euch. (Since then I've decided that my gender identity is 'somewhat both but mostly neither', but since I don't mind she/her as pronouns and have near-total passing privilege I don't really say much about it.)

So ANYWAYS that was a shitty week and a half but eventually I guess my hormones balanced back out, because then I had about two weeks of feeling really pretty good, and getting a LOT done for the business, and feeling REALLY good about getting stuff done, and enjoying what I was doing, and...just yeah, a lot of good. I've been posting about some of that over at my business blog (http://thevagabondtabby.com/blog/), which is somehow where the actual 'things are going well' posts go. I guess because I can't really post 'my life is shitty and augh' in the business blog. Anyway, there are Loiosh pictures, might be worth a look.

Plus Chocolate's icky spots randomly healed up (I'm filing it under 'Yet Another Chocolate Miracle), I found out that my car is _not_ actually on the verge of falling into tiny pieces, and AND and I'm learning how to fix card from a new friend. I learned how to regap my spark plugs a week ago and it was AWESOME.

(Told my mother this, and she looked nervous. Told her that I really like working with my hands, and sometimes wish I'd gone to tech school instead of taking all those useless AP courses, and she looked politely horrified. It was amusing.)

Of course nothing good lasts forever; the last few night I haven't been sleeping well, I've been waking up early from nightmares and not wanting to go back to sleep, and my days have been...not great. I'm still getting some done, but I'm taking it easy, taking more time off, and trying to do fun things or at least relax some. We shall see.