kellan_the_tabby

Possibly I am buying a truck this week. I am of course terrified by this.

It's sort of perfect, though. It's got a tow package and a big enough engine to be more than enough for the size travel trailer I'm going to want. It's big enough that even before I get the travel trailer I'll be able to carry everything I need for Battlemoor _and_ sleep in it, which means no more hotel stays EVER. It is _possibly_ big enough that I'll be able to bring Chocolate as well as Loiosh with me on long trips, and that's huge, part of the reason for all this has always been that I am DONE with leaving Chocolate home while I travel.

It's also going to cost just about all of my saved-up money, once I'm done with taxes and insurance and registration, and this terrifies me. Because my RV fund is also my what-if-a-cat-gets-sick fund and my what-if-the-car-dies fund and my what-if-augh-thing fund and then I'mm have SQUAT-ALL NOTHING AGAIN and this is TERRIFYING.

I mean, rationally? I have a CareCredit card I can use to pay up to $500 in vet fees, and I even get six months to pay it back before I start paying interest. Once I have the truck it won't _matter_ if my car dies because I'll have, well, a _truck_. And there's always the option of a holy-crap-I-need-money sale.

But I'm still terrified.

So I drew a tarot card because, well, terrified. This isn't something I do often but it seemed the moment for it? And I got the Two of Wands:

The Two of Wands takes the spark of inspiration from the Ace of Wands and matures it into an actual path forward. Thus, the Two of Wands is all about planning and progressing. You have been able to take your idea and turn it into a feasible plan that you know will lead to your success. It is no longer just an idea but you now have a plan in place to ensure that your idea is carried out as you had intended.
...
The Twos in Tarot often represent decisions of some sort. In the case of the Two of Wands, you are making a decision between sticking with what you know, or expanding your horizons and taking a risk. You know that the world has to offer you something ‘bigger’ or more meaningful, yet you are also aware that in order to maximise on this opportunity, you must leave your familiar grounds. Even though you have already invested a lot into your current circumstances, for you to be able to grow and to maximise your potential, it is imperative that you step out into a new world and explore your options.
This card shows the patience and focus of your intent. You have got the ball rolling and have started out on your journey, so now it is time to patiently wait for your rewards and watch as your ideas begin to materialise.

In other words, this is the ABSOLUTE PERFECT RIGHT THING to be doing right now.

I'm _also_ being terrified about the gas mileage -- it's going to be far crappier than the 35-40 MPG I get in my car, which was going to happen ANYWAY, I don't know why I'm being all shocked about this now, but still AUGH.

So yeah I'm having a flail. It'll all be fine, I'm just terrified.

(The truck in question.)