monday chicken
Jun. 22nd, 2020 07:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kellan_the_tabbyso there's been A LOT
(on top of the A Lot going on in the rest of the world, mind you)
Rowan (Trucker Roommate) was home for almost two weeks, which is always good cos I don't get to see them often, but also V Stressful because there's SO MUCH that needs to get done while they're home -- laundry, house projects that I'm not up to doing, lots of cooking. Plus about half the time when they're home they unload the truck cab so they can clean & refrotz it -- it's a small enough space that it's HARD to keep clean & straightened without being able to move stuff out of it, & you can't. Do that at a truck stop.
So they were home, & there was laundry, & the entire common area was full of Thing, & there was so much Stuff in the fridge that I couldn't get to any of the stuff I'd cooked ahead of time so there'd be room in the kitchen for Rowan to cook, & it was like that for about a day & a half, at which point Rowan & I sat down & had a long talk & realized that we love each other a LOT but cannot successfully live together.
Given that Rowan's the person who owns the house, this could have gone ... poorly. I mean, I woulda just moved into one of the abandoned houses, I wouldn't have been trying to live out of Tyrava, but still, not fun?
But Rowan & Inoru can move in with Rowan's parents in LA just fine. This would make it possible for Inoru to actually GO PLACES on their own, which they can't do here, because they don't drive & well. There aren't. Places here. All of the places are ten miles away.
This would give Inoru a space of their own most of the time -- Rowan's parents have a cottage out back that they'll be moving into -- but they'll still have people around if they need help with stuff. & this way, Rowan can go home & spend time with both their parents & Inoru at the same time.
Rowan just refinanced the house & can't sell it for another year anyway, so I get a year to live blessedly alone & figure out what I'm gonna do next. & they can still stop by & visit for a day or two -- them staying for a bit in _my_ space won't cause the same issues as both of us trying to live in a house that's both of ours, when we have spectacularly different ideas about how such things should work.
(A lot of it is that I deal poorly with 'stuff all over the place' & am easily visually overstimulated, & it's also hard for me to work on things when there are other people around doing Stuff. Rowan & Inoru do fine with Things in Places & also with much higher background noise & stuff levels than I do. I was trying to cope with entire overwhelm, Rowan was trying to stay small & quiet, it was NOT GOOD for either of us.)
I get a year. & I'm at a point where I'm pretty sure, if things continue as they have been, that I'll be able to get my own place.
Now when I say 'my own place' I mean 'a couple acres in the mountains in Colorado & a Tuff Shed, a water tank & small solar setup'. I still won't be able to buy an entire house, or rent an apartment, unless I win the lottery or something like. It'll be a lot of work, & things like 'baths' will once again be merely a dream.
But it'll be _mine_. A place that nobody can take from me, that nobody has the right to kick me out of. I have NEVER had that & I kiiiiiinda long for it, in that 'hey I might actually finally feel safe' sort of way. Plus I've always done best living alone -- Inoru is the least obtrusive roommate possible, half the time they don't even come out of their room, but even with that I have a harder time doing things when they're here.
Plus if I find something I don't like about the place? Not only will it be because of a decision _I_ made, but I'll actually be able to FIX IT. It'll be an abventure!
(& if all else fails, there's always the abandoned house.)
(on top of the A Lot going on in the rest of the world, mind you)
Rowan (Trucker Roommate) was home for almost two weeks, which is always good cos I don't get to see them often, but also V Stressful because there's SO MUCH that needs to get done while they're home -- laundry, house projects that I'm not up to doing, lots of cooking. Plus about half the time when they're home they unload the truck cab so they can clean & refrotz it -- it's a small enough space that it's HARD to keep clean & straightened without being able to move stuff out of it, & you can't. Do that at a truck stop.
So they were home, & there was laundry, & the entire common area was full of Thing, & there was so much Stuff in the fridge that I couldn't get to any of the stuff I'd cooked ahead of time so there'd be room in the kitchen for Rowan to cook, & it was like that for about a day & a half, at which point Rowan & I sat down & had a long talk & realized that we love each other a LOT but cannot successfully live together.
Given that Rowan's the person who owns the house, this could have gone ... poorly. I mean, I woulda just moved into one of the abandoned houses, I wouldn't have been trying to live out of Tyrava, but still, not fun?
But Rowan & Inoru can move in with Rowan's parents in LA just fine. This would make it possible for Inoru to actually GO PLACES on their own, which they can't do here, because they don't drive & well. There aren't. Places here. All of the places are ten miles away.
This would give Inoru a space of their own most of the time -- Rowan's parents have a cottage out back that they'll be moving into -- but they'll still have people around if they need help with stuff. & this way, Rowan can go home & spend time with both their parents & Inoru at the same time.
Rowan just refinanced the house & can't sell it for another year anyway, so I get a year to live blessedly alone & figure out what I'm gonna do next. & they can still stop by & visit for a day or two -- them staying for a bit in _my_ space won't cause the same issues as both of us trying to live in a house that's both of ours, when we have spectacularly different ideas about how such things should work.
(A lot of it is that I deal poorly with 'stuff all over the place' & am easily visually overstimulated, & it's also hard for me to work on things when there are other people around doing Stuff. Rowan & Inoru do fine with Things in Places & also with much higher background noise & stuff levels than I do. I was trying to cope with entire overwhelm, Rowan was trying to stay small & quiet, it was NOT GOOD for either of us.)
I get a year. & I'm at a point where I'm pretty sure, if things continue as they have been, that I'll be able to get my own place.
Now when I say 'my own place' I mean 'a couple acres in the mountains in Colorado & a Tuff Shed, a water tank & small solar setup'. I still won't be able to buy an entire house, or rent an apartment, unless I win the lottery or something like. It'll be a lot of work, & things like 'baths' will once again be merely a dream.
But it'll be _mine_. A place that nobody can take from me, that nobody has the right to kick me out of. I have NEVER had that & I kiiiiiinda long for it, in that 'hey I might actually finally feel safe' sort of way. Plus I've always done best living alone -- Inoru is the least obtrusive roommate possible, half the time they don't even come out of their room, but even with that I have a harder time doing things when they're here.
Plus if I find something I don't like about the place? Not only will it be because of a decision _I_ made, but I'll actually be able to FIX IT. It'll be an abventure!
(& if all else fails, there's always the abandoned house.)
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Date: 2020-06-23 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2020-06-23 11:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-23 03:37 am (UTC)*hugs you tightly* I'm glad things are being figured out, and things did not go poorly.
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Date: 2020-06-23 11:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-24 12:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-24 12:47 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2020-06-24 02:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-24 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-23 06:03 am (UTC)It is also... well. So much different than some previous "time to move" times have been. There is kindness here, and mutual care, and recognition of each other's needs, and it feels like that's a much better way to transition to something that was your ultimate goal (a place really all your own) anyway.
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Date: 2020-06-23 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-23 11:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-23 11:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-23 01:42 pm (UTC)I'm glad the conversation went well.
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Date: 2020-06-24 12:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-24 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-24 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-28 05:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-06-28 06:51 pm (UTC)