Jan. 17th, 2024

kellan_the_tabby: My face, reflected in a round mirror I'm holding up; the rest of the image is the side of my head, hair shorn short. (Default)
Just told this story on discord & realized that, while I probably told it here at the time, it's been a hot minute, & I really like how I wrote it this time, so here 'tis:

Loiosh, as so often happens as cats age, needed his teeth cleaned. I'd driven the boys two hours each way to Albuquerque to my old vet for their checkups & shots, & I drove back for Loiosh's dental surgery, because anesthesia scares me & they're GOOD. (Future experience with the local vet confirmed that this was a VERY GOOD choice.) This decision, however, involved shoving all three cats in the van & heading to Albuquerque the night before, because Loiosh hadda be there at 8am & that's the ONLY way that was happening. I'd've left the other two home with Inoru, except for the other complication: they were off visiting family. In fact, I was scheduled to pick them up at the airport the next evening, after fetching Loiosh back from the vet.

I picked Loiosh up after his surgery. He was pleasantly drowsy, which was pleasantly simple to deal with. If I'd been able to head home right away ... but that's not how this story goes. I had to wait a couple-three hours for Inoru to arrive at the Sunport. Not a problem; the van has a bed, I have no shame, I napped.

Except that I did NOT, because Loiosh, who, having just got a couple teeth pulled, was on some HEAVY DUTY painkillers, decided that he needed to eat RIGHT NOW DAD. I offered him some kibble, but he couldn't ... remember ... how to eat it? So he just kinda hovered with his face in the bowl & huffed it. Then he'd get frustrated & poke me. DAD. DAD FIX IT. Repeat, ad infinitum, until Inoru arrives.

I pick up Inoru at the Sunport. They shove their suitcase into the van & clamber into front seat. Loiosh, the bastard, passes out on the bed. I drive two hours west. We arrive home, & haul in a variety of things, mostly cats.

With the inevitable result that by the time we were settled back in, Loiosh, having had a LOVELY nap, was FULL. OF. BEANS. Which he expressed by tearing around the house at high velocity. For probably most of an hour, more-or-less continuously. Frequently while burbling.

He spent far more time going sideways than foreward. His aim was variable, his steering inexact. Several times his back half crossed the finish line before his front half. This did not concern him in any manner; nor did the fact that sometimes the finish line was, apparently, on the other side of whatever wall he'd just bounced off of. Major Tom snuck into Inoru's room & hid under the covers with them. Hades retreated to the REALLY high cat bed & fell asleep, albeit with one eye still open, JUST IN CASE.

I eventually dumped an entire can of gooshyfud into a bowl, caught Loiosh, rubbed a bit of it on his nose, & put the bowl right under his face. Hey! That's food! He shoved his face in the bowl with kittenesque vigor & no finesse whatsoever, but did manage to eat at least a plurality, if not a majority, of the contents. Which was, THANK BAST, enough to knock him out for the night.

SOMEONE must've risked emerging from safety that night to finish off the scattered crumbs, but I ain't betting on who. I am, however, DAMNED grateful.

I hope you've enjoyed this little tale (& PLEASE don't tell Loiosh I told y'all), & may all your st0ned cats be LESS EXCITING THAN THAT.

July 2025

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