May. 18th, 2010

kellan_the_tabby: My face, reflected in a round mirror I'm holding up; the rest of the image is the side of my head, hair shorn short. (Default)
I know I haven't been updating here -- this is cribbed from my shop blog so at least y'all have half an idea what's going on.

omshanti sale banner


I'm using Andrea's Moving Sale banner again cos it's just SO AWESOME. So far the sale's going really well -- I'm hoping to keep up that momentum!

I'm also using it because I really need the reminder that I have friends out there who love me. Fighting through this depression -- the worst bout I have ever had to deal with -- has been hard, very hard. There are times I really just want to curl up in a little ball and make the world go away for a while, and I can't -- there's too much to do, for one, and for another I can't afford to just stop.

That's the danger to depression -- that you'll fall in and just never come back out. I'm really afraid that'll happen if I don't keep moving. I take breaks, don't get me wrong, but when the immobility really starts to hit I know I have to get back up and keep going.

Two days until I get into the mental health center. I know they won't have an instant fix, but it's still a goal, a 'just hang on until'.

Five days until the 'big move day', after which me and my cats will be safely ensconced in a place where we'll have people to help take care of us, where I can heal. Not an instant fix either -- there aren't any -- but it will lower my stress level, at least, and that will help.

I've had a lot to do -- between the sale (which is still going -- 25% off everything!) and packing to move, I haven't had a lot of time to just sit and mope. Which is for the best, I think. Sitting and moping doesn't get me anywhere.

One step at a time, I keep telling myself, One day at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow; just get through today.

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